AN EXERCISE IN VELLAPANTI!!

Ah~vellapanti!! The term used most often in our dear old MIT!! It practically describes every student in this college. Everyone is usually 'Vella' in this place!! MITians reading this know exactly what this word mean~obviously as we are all vella and when often asked by someone else "so what are you doing nowadays?", our standard reply is "kuch nahi yaar, vella baitha hu" or "bas...vellapanti chal rahi hai!" For those of you who don't study in our Mighty Mighty MIT, let me give you a ver simple explaination for this most amazing of terms!! Vellapanti simply means joblessness!! An attempt at doing nothing, something which we all MITian are pretty good at!! To be vella is to be jobless or to have nothing to do. To do vellapanti is to be doing absolutely nothing!!

And so on to the main content of this post. Today morning we had a maths class from 11:30 to 12:30. And we absolutely hate attending classes. That is the single most torturous thing that we students have ever had to do! We believe that if there were no classes, then college life would be perfect!! Yet-as we know, no one and nothing is perfect. And though I will tell you that my college days have so far been the best days of my life and will probably remain so, it's not perfect due to these classes!!

This particular maths class was pure torture!! We had just returned from a hard working Lab session so I sure as hell wasn't in the mood to solve Probablity questions using Calculus. None of us were. Sitting next to me in the class was one of my best friends, Anuj Mahajan. And as we discussed that age old question-why on earth does time move slow just when we want it to move fast, he came up with the obscure suggestion that 'let's make our own movie!'. Ah, I loved the suggestion!! I always love taking a stab at creativity as most of you know by now!! I find nothing better than to spend time creating stories and letting my imagination run wild. So with a gleelful smile, I accpeted the offer and we were on!!

So our first job was to pick a hero. Ronnie Banjerjee happened to be sitting right in front of us. So just like that we decided that Ronnie will be our hero. Now Ronnie wanted a hot looking actress paired with him. So we suggested a name yet he demanded that he needed someone hotter. We explained to him that the cast has to be comprised of our classmates and so we couldn't cast the girl he wanted as she was not in our class(she's pretty hot though :D). He straight away refused to sign for the movie. We somehow managed to convince him that after this big debut of his, we will cast her in our next movie together when we will have a wider cast. Ronnie finally gave in and so the actress we had picked initially was cast. I unfortunately donot have the rights to mention her name here so we shall name her Anjali. And now...for the story!!

WARNING: Viewer Discretion is advised. This move has been given an A certificate by the censor board for Descriptive violence, strong sexual content and language(:P). So viewers below 18 are not allowed(:D).

Ronnie is our hero. He's young, he's smart, he's intelligent but he ain't good looking. He has a good heart though. He's a typical loser in a college. A geek as most of us would call him. Ignored, few friends and well-definitely no girlfriend. Anjali, our heroine, is everything that Ronnie has ever wanted to be(with well-modiefied body parts :P). Beautiful, hot, smart, popular. She's the queen bee-every guy has wants her to be his girlfriend and every girl wants to be her. She's the epitome of popularity. Yet, she too is a girl good at heart. She's not a typical popular slut that you find in colleges, but a very sweet natured girl. She's everything that a guy ever wants in a girlfriend.

It's love at first sight for Ronnie. Yet-love stories are never meant to be that simple(especially not in Bollywood). So this time the road block comes in the shape of Anjali's boyfriend Anuj Mahajan(yes, the very same guy sitting next to me and with whom I was plotting this story) . He's the stud of the college. 6 foot tall with 6 pack abs, a face to die for, all the girls drooling over him and with a fancy Avenger bike to boot. Every girl wants him and every boy wants to be him. Yet-he too is good at heart. And he's very deeply committed to our Anjali. They are very happy together. Yet, Bollywood would just not let lovers be in peace. So a twist comes in the form of cancer. Yes-our dear Anuj is a cancer patient(now don't ask how, if you are looking for logic, you are at the wrong place my friend). Anuj is hiding this secret from Anjali, afraid that this news will break her forever.

Lekin honi ko kaun taal sakta hai. Anjali finds out. And she's a broken woman. She feels betrayed that the love of her life kept this secret hidden from her. That he didn't trust her enough to tell her that he was dying. She weeps and weeps and weeps. And it is while she's weeping that our hero Ronnie makes his move(that suave bastard) . He offers her a shoulder to cry on. He comforts her, puts his arm around her shoulders and one things lead to another and then-ummm...they do it. Yeah-they have sex. Disgusted?? I told you this movie was rated 'A' for strong sexual content-so dont't blame that I didn't warn you.

Moving on, our Anjali-being the good girl she is, feels guilty. She knows she has betrayed Anuj's trust in her(even though Ronnie was surprsingly, really good in bed :P). She though decides that she must be honest with Anuj. Besides-he's a dying man. He couldn't really have expected her to be with a dying man-could he? Even if he was, screw him!! Oh sorry-she just screwed Ronnie right now(:D)!!

Yet, twists galore. When Anjali goes to tell Anuj about her one night stand, she finds Anuj dead!
(Background music-tadang tadang tadang!!) Anuj already knew about Anjali, Ronnie and their one night at the call centre(no, they didn't do it in the call centre~its a dig guys!) And when Anuj came to know, he couldn't take it and committed suicide(yet to decide on how he commits suicide. Suggestions open-the more gruesome, the better!) Anjali is shocked and broken. She blames Ronnie for Anuj's death(and herself ofcorse, being the good girl she is~but she can't take out her frustration on herself, so Ronnie bears the brunt of it). Poor Ronnie!! His love story was nipped in the bud even before it began. I doubt he feels sorry though. A sexual encounter with the hottest girl in college-honestly, you really think he gives two hoots about Anuj's death? All he's thinking about is Anjali and how he got to do her!!Ewww-disgusting??Ah-whatever. This is an above 18 post, if you haven't understood that by now!!

Anyways, so we have a cancer patient committing suicide(me and Anuj were in splits by now). And we have a love story which started with sex but never really took off!! We will put in a very sad emotional song here composed by Pritam and sung by Atif!! But like good old Bollywood movies, we decided to change genres!! From an emotional Karan Johar love story, we decided to change it into a Ramsay production B-grade horror show!! And we had our suicidal cancer patient come back thirsting for revenge. Ah~how I love Bollywood!!

So Anuj is back. But he ain't so nice anymore. He's a ghost waiting to exact revenge on his ex-love and the man who slept with her. He will snigger, mouth cheesy villainous dialogues, laugh like a maniac and burst up in rage when something doesn't go to plan. He's everything that a cliched Bollywood villain is~and over that he's a ghost.(Anuj was pretty disappointed when we killed his character so when I suggested we bring him back in a negative role ala ekta kapoor serials he was all smiles).

And so the blood flows. In the most gruesome of ways possible. First up on Anuj's list is Anjali's best friend~Sneha. Why?? Who cares. We can't kill the heroine immediately so we had to pick someone else. So Sneha is bumped off like a potato sack without any reason for we simple need blood on the screen. And Anuj laughs madly after killing her. Muhahahahaha! And then he points evidence towars our disappointed in love hero-Ronnie. But Ronnie manages to walk away this time. Not enough evidence, the police says. Which enrages Anuj ofcorse. Our villain is mad!! His plan didn't work and he is not going to accept failure a seond time. So he hatches an even more evil plan. That means another body lying somewhere in a pool of blood.



What's Anuj's plan? There was this geeky girl who was in love with Ronnie for a long time. Anuj poses as Ronnie(he's a ghost remember??) and asks her to meet in some lonely spot in the night. Then he asks Anjali to do the same and then poses as Anjali with Ronnie and asks him to come to the same spot. And the plan is in progress. When Ronnie comes thereall eager to clear his misunderstandings with Anjali, he finds the geeky girl. She goes all excited and hugs him but he tries to get rid of her and just when he's trying to push her away, Anjali enters and Anuj acts. He bumps off the geeky girl. And Anjali thinks its Ronnie(some timing huh? I told you I love Bollywood). Ronnie's pleas fall on deaf ears and our hero is hauled off to jail.



Life couldn't be worse for our two protagonists. Ronnie lies in jail for a murder he didn't commit and Anjali is shocked and shattered at how her life has changed in a matter of few days. And aur villain Anuj is laughing that maniacal laugh of his.Muhahahahahaha!!! But wait wait. The movie ain't over yet for how can a movie end without its Happys Endings. Picture abhi khatam nahi hui baabu!!

You know how every movie needs a character which will play second fiddle to the hero yet get the best lines and walk away with all the applause and awards?? Well, how could our movie do without one! So as Ronnie awaits trial and poor Anjali sheds tears we introduce a new character. He is FARID THE LAWYER. Yeah-it's moi. It's only right that since I am the script writer, I also get to play the scene stealing character[:P]. So Farid the lawyer will wear the most stylish of clothes, carry an attitude which shows him to be an uber cool dude, will be super-smart and have amazing analytic powers(ala hercule poirot) and mouth dialogues to which there will be loud applause and whistles in the theatres. In an ideal world he would be played by Anil Kapoor.

Farid takes up Ronnie's intriguing case and even though he's flummoxed initially, being the smart guy that he is, he immediately realises that there's more to this story than meets the eye. He begins to dig deep and soon discovers the super natural angle. So he decides to have a talk with our residential ghost via means of a communication channel which you can find in any good old hindi movie(we'll select the best and most cheesy one obviously). An enraged Anuj will not listen to Farid's sound reasoning and also go onto kill everyone else in the room(we'll find some extras for this) but somehow Farid will manage to escape. And so a bewildered Farid will tell Ronnie that he's innocent and his love's ex-boyfriend is behind all this! As result Ronnie is out on bail. Ronnie would immediately go to Anjali and tell her everything but as expetced Anjali would refuse to listen. Instead she would hate Ronnie even more for thinking that Anuj could do something like this. 'Wo mar chuka hai Ronnie. Kam se kam maut mein to use chain se rehne do.'

But Farid, the smart man that he is, would tell Anjali that he can prove that Anuj is behind all this. He would take her to a desolate place, use that same mean of communicating with the spirits again and call Anuj. And so Anjali will discover the truth. She will weep for hours for thinking that Ronnie could possible be behind the murders and then finally go and tell him that she loves him too. Here we would have a song picturised in switzerland with music given by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy and sung by Sonu Nigam. When they finally return from Switzerland, they'll find more dead bodies of their friends. Slashed throats, electrocution, strangling~all the gruesome means possible to kill a person, we would use them all with Anuj enraged and seething in anger. He promises to kill Ronnie and Anjali and destroy the entire town on Amavaas ki Raat.

Farid, Ronnie, Anjali and Farid's hot secretary think of ways to stop Anuj but oviously they can't think of one. And so our cancer patient turned suicidal boy turned revenge seeking ghost returns on Amavaas ki Raat and burns down the entire town. Ronnie and Anjali are alos trapped in that fire and can't find an escape route with Ronnie shielding Anjali as much as poissbile. Farid somehow doesn't get caught up in the fire and instead goes on a one-on-one with Anuj. He's finally had a brain wave and he's about to stop Anuj once and for all. Meanwhile Ronnie and Anjali are still trying to escape from the fire.

The confrontation between Farid and Anuj finally happens. Farid appeals to Anuj once again but Anuj refuses to listen. Farid tells him that being in love is not about destroying your love but to make 'amar' and blah blah blah. Anuj sees that Anjali has indeed moved past him and really is in love with Ronnie(yeah~we are back to Karan Johar's brand of cinema). He sees that she's happy with Ronnie and somehow begins to think that if he lets them be together, then his own love will also become immortal( how he didn't realise this before is beyond me but then it's all Karan Johar's fault). So he would stop the fire and save Ronnie and Anjali as well. Then he would finally bid his last emotional goodbyt to Anjali and tell her hoe he will love her for ever and is sorry for causing all the pain in her life and some more blah blah blah. And his spirit would soar up in the sky with a colgate smile on his face and his 'aatma' will supposedly finally get 'Shanti.' Ronnie and Anjali will get married with Farid as the best man and would name their first son Anuj. While FARID THE LAWYER will move onto another case and another woman.

THE END

PS: Ronnie was very pleased that he gets to do a hot scene with the heroine. He practically didn't care about anything else. This film would go onti win several awards at the filmfare awards including Best Film, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Supporting actor(FARID THE LAWYER), Best Actor in a negative role(Anuj), Best screenplay, Best Music and many many more!!

CONFESSION OF A HOPELESS ROMANTIC!!

To The Girl I Love,

You entered my life like a cold breeze blowing across the sea side, hitting me like a beautiful wave and nothing was ever to be the same again. I saw you come in, like the face of ethereal beauty, untouched and unmarked and I felt a flutter in my heart. I wasn't in love with you then, I couldn't be for I have never believed in the 'love at first sight' formula. Yet seeing those blue cat-like eyes, I knew I could drown in them and hope to never come back. I remembered Akshay Kumar's dialogue in the movie 'Khakee' when he sees Aishwariya Rai-"Ye Aankhein Marwayengi Ek Din" and immediately a smile lit across my face at the thought of it.

I remember those initial few weeks when I hadn't spoken to you yet, when we were still strangers to each other, unknowing of the journey ahead. I would see almost every boy I knew make a beeline for you, try to strike up a conversation with you, hoping to earn your affection in return. That you didn't not only surprised me but also increased my respect for you. Yet I must admit I was a but bemused. "What's so special about her?" I would ask my friends. "I know she is beautiful but is that all that matters?" I would argue with them. How was I to know that there was so much more beyond that beautiful face of yours, that there was a sea of emotions hidded behind those blue cat-like eyes.

And then we were friends. I don't even remember when talking to you had turned into a habit, a habit I couldn't resist, that I couldn't give up. I don't even remember when talking to you had become the best part of my day, the part that I looked forward to the most. I don't even remember when by just seeing you across the hall or just by walking past you in the corridor, a smile would spread across my lips. It wasn't a smile meant for anyone or anything, it was a smileto myself, to my heart, content in the knowledge that I had atleast seen you and thus you were still a part of my life, a part of my heart.

Talking to you, I realised why so many boys had developed a crush on you. The reason went way beyond a beautiful face or blue cat-like eyes. You were a fountain of charming eccentricity, your cheerfulness lighting up every heart that it touched, your laughter so infectious that the trees would have laughed with you if only they could just see or even hear your laughter, your energy so vibrant that it could light up the entire state of Karnataka, your eyes so deep that anyone who saw them and understood them, couldn't help but get lost in its intensity.

It wasn't long before I noticed that I was no longer the same person whenever I was around you. I would behave differently in your company, often to the bewilderment of my friends who couldn't understand this 'different me.' I couldnt' either. I realised that you had started to affect me in ways that no other person in my life, let alone a girl, ever had. My heart would skip a beat whenever I saw you, my eyes would light up with unexplainable cheerfulness at the very sight of you. It was then that I knew I was in danger. That I was beginning to fall for a girl who in every possible way was better than me. I warned my heart from committing this fatal error. Told my heart I couldn't afford to fall in love with you. For if I fell in love with you, then 'ye aankhein marwayengi ek din.'

I guess you can never really warn your heart from falling in love. How much ever you try to, once the preocess begins, there's no holding it back. And so how much ever I tried to resist, the truth was I just couldn't stop thinking of you. Couldn't help but fall in love with you.

Those tears floating from your eyes ripped my heart apart. I saw them, saw you crying and I knew there wasno way back for me from this. I knew I had become a victim of the very same thing that I had been trying to avoid. I knew I had fallen in love with you when I saw those tears. For I wanted to kill the person who had brought those tears to your eyes, I wanted to tear this world apart for letting you cry-I felt an unexlainable hatred for this world and everything in it, hatred for myself, for letting you cry.

I wanted to sit there with you and wipe those tears from your eyes. I wanted to let you know that I would do anything to ensure that those tears never come back, that you never cry again. Whatever the circumstance. I wanted to let you know that I would do anything to make you smile and then keep looking at your angelic smile forever. I wanted to let you know that I loved you.

And yet I didn't. Or I couldn't. But somehow I could never let you know how much I loved you. It remained a secret buried in the deepest corner of my heart, just like my love for you. I don't really know why I couldn't tell you. Maybe because I got nervous at the very thought of telling you, maybe because I was too afraid of a rejection, maybe because you never gave an indication that you felt the same way but somehow my love for you remained unspoken.

And perhaps so shall it remain. For maybe some love stories are never meant to be. Though I will always keep on hoping that one day you will realise my love for you. I don't claim to love you more than life itself. Because you are my life. I don't claim to love you more than anybody else. Because when I am with you, nobody else even matters. All that matters is my love for you and that I am with the person that I love the most in this world.

The irony couldn't be any greater then as I am hiding the biggest secret of my life from the person I claim to love the most-you. But I am afraid that's just how life sometimes is. That I can't even tell the person that I love the most that I love her. That I love you. And it's not as if I haven't tried getting over you. I tried to distance myself from you but somehow I could never forget that innocent face and those beautiful eyes. I tried to stop talking to you but it only reminded me how hopelessy in love I was with you. I thought of being rude to you so that you could hate me but then I had promised myself that I will never hurt you come what may and how much ever pain it may end up causing me.

And so even though it hurts to see you, for my love that remains unexpressed, the truth is I would still to anything to catch a glmpse of you. Even today, just seeing you brings a smile on my face. I live in misery everyday for a love that I had perhaps relinquished even before I thought of pursuing it yet nothing brings me more happiness that the knowledge that I have been and still am in love. In love with you.

And yet I still live in hope. Hope that one day you will finally realise how much I love you. You will realise that I would do anything to make you smile, to keep you happy, to ensure that you never cry again and if you do, then I will be there to wipe those tears from your eyes and bring back that beauiful smile on your lips again. That I would do anything to ensure your happiness, even if it means I can't be with you. And when you realise this, then you will slowly walk towards me, your hair flying in the wind like a cold wave blowing, a smile on your beautiful lips, your angelic face a perfect concoction of surprise and romantic shyness, looking at me with those blue cat-like eyes, dissolving me in them as you would whisper in my ears, "I love you too."

YE AANKHEIN MARWAAYENGI EK DIN!!

P.S.-A totally fictitious account. So give your imagination a rest and don't take your own spin on it. Though a completely heartfelt piece.

SPEAKING DIRECTLY FROM THE LAB!!!

You won't believe that I am actually sitting in the Electronics Controls and Devices Lab lab as I am writing this. I am so damn bored and sleepy that I decided I might as well write something in order convince my lovely teachers that I am actually busy with something other than trying to keep my eyes open. And that in itself is a huge struggle. Honestly, I would do anything to get out of this place right now. But my watch says 9:18 A.M. so unfortunately I am stuck here for another ghastly 1 hour 42 minutes. Time just couldn't move any slower and life couldn't be any more torturous.

Ok-so it's 9:21 AM and I have just finished reading a poem that has been handed over to me by a classmate of mine, Udita. Actually, the story goes that about 20 minutes ago, when it had been just 1 hour into the lab session out of the 3 precious hours it was going to waste of my life, I suggested to Udita that she write a poem, so that I atleast have something to read and somehow take my mind off this utterly torturous lab session. How I hate labs at 8 in the morning!! The poems titleD 'Setting In' and I am presuming it's about the night time 'setting in'. I said I am presuming because it's always hard to decipher the complete meaning of a poem, particularly the good one's. They always have one or two double meanings which are usually behind the comprehension of a normal man. And 'Setting In' is something I actually enjoyed reading. Good work Udita.

9:29 AM and the clock continues to tick by as if it's in no hurry at all. Well,I am-dammit. My 2 lab partners are busy making connections for the experiment to be performed. Well, Vikrant's the one making the connections, Samiksha's just observing them. Why? Well, Samiksha tried making the connections the first time but we failed to get any output so Vikrant's giving it a shot now. Good luck to him.

What's the experiment about? Believe me, you don't want to know. It's got something to do with Series Voltage Regulator using Operatinal Amplifiers, Op-amps for short. Or whatever that means. It's not something I am planning to get myself involved with today and probably not till a few hours before the lab exam.

9:35 AM and the connections are done. But once again we have failed to produce the output. Farid to the resCUe? Nah, not today. On another day I would have actually sat down with my lab partners and try and analyse what's wrong with the circuit(or us) but today I just yawn at the sight of a circuit board and a soldering iron. Did I tell you I hate soldering? It's a pathetic job and I am certainly not getting my hands dirty today with that thing. Let's just say am not in the mood to play with wires, DMM's and CRO's.

9:46 AM and I had to take a bit of a break from writing in the past few minutes. That's because Samiksha was sweet enough to call one of the damn professors to our table. I just don't know how to explain to her that when you are not getting the output, the best thing to do is just copy the readings from someone else instead of wasting time on another attempt or worse, calling the professor. It's that simple, really. For our aim in this lab should be to get out of here as soon as possible. Everything else, including performing the experiment becomes secondary. Anyways, the professor took about 7-8 minutes to play with the circuit, change a wire here and there and voila-nope...nope...still no output. I guess we are on our own today.

And oh, by the way, I think our connection is suffering from a short circuit. That's because the voltage amplifier just gave out a few sparks. Yippppeee!! Some excitement finally. And now Samiksha's declared that our circuit has indeed fused thanks to a short circuit. Honestly-I don't think I give a damn either way.

9:58 AM and I am back after a water break. I wasn't exactly thirsty but I just needed to get out of this lab somehow. In the meantime, Udita has returned with my notebook. I opened it with excitement, looking forward to another one of her poems but all I got was the drawing of a human face. Errr....what?? So I went to Udita for an explaination. She announced that the drawing of that face with no ears (?) was a form of "Abstract Art." Huh? Sorry? So she went on to give an explaination about how the eyes represent the tears, the lips the smile and some dot above the eye as the confusion. And what about the nose? I asked. She replied that since there was an eye and a lip, then there had to be a nose. Ummm...whatever. I think she's lost it. Can't really blame her though. This place gets to the best of them.

10:05 AM. Less than an hour to go now. Will time move a little faster please? By the way-Vikrant's onto connecting another circuit. Samiksha has gone to ask some doubt or probably copy the readings. After the last circuit fused, she finally got the brain wave to copy someone else's reading. Three cheers for Samiksha!! Hip-Hip Hurray!!

Lester on the opposite table continues to pronounce the readings almost as if he's shouting it out for the entire class. Not than anyone minds. Most of us could do with the readings. Rishi-his lab partner continues copying them down obediently without even looking up. Thinking they are sincere students? Yeah, right!! And Vikrant's just told me that the 2nd circuit isn't working either. Glory, Glory-All The Way!!

10:36 AM. Was forced to take another break (an extended one this time) as once again my lab partners decided to call the prof to dilly-dally around our circuit. This time he stayed for more more than 20 minutes. Needless to say all he did was play around with the switches on the resistance box, plug a few wires here and there, test the capapcitor and then the transistor and after all this, had the audacity to ask me to carry a rheostat box (does he know how heavy it is?) so that he could play with it and then ask me again to keep it back (DOES HE KNOW HOW HEAVY IT IS?). And after all the dilly-dallying, all he had to say was "Your circuit isn't working." Oh, Thank You sir!! The idiot-as if we didn't know that.

10:42 AM. I guess it's time to put this monologue to an end. Partly because after nearly 3 torturous hours in the lab, we are finally free to go. And partly because one of the prof's has been looking at me from the corner of his eye, watching me scribble a lot more in the notebook than a usual student does in a lab session. So in order to avoid getting caught, I will put down my pen and pack my bags and finally leave this horrendous place. This is the Ayatollah of Life, signing out. Cheers!!

STOP THE HATRED!!!

I remember playing cricket on that sandy ground near my house in Bahrain against a team comprised of our supposed arch rivals- Pakistanis. I remember the passion and the fervour with which we would celebrate each wicket of theirs and each boundary we scored. I remember the huddle we would form after we had beaten them and the frustration we went through when we lost a game. That passion was something else, it went way beyond a mere game of cricket but crossed into the realm of playing against a team that we Indians have so often regarded as the enemy-Pakistan. Whether we like it or not, the moment we see a bunch of Pakistani lads walkng by we immediately have a comment to pass about them-and most of those comments are never friendly. When the Indian team beats Pakistan in a game of cricket, it goes beyond just winning a cricket game. When we lose, we feel humiliated and embarassed as if those 11 cricketers who went onto the pitch representing our country had betrayed us. Come what may-a loss to Pakistan in unacceptable in any condition. It won't be wrong to say then that most of us believe in the following statement: "We must beat them or we shall cease to exist."

Which isn't true ofcorse. We continue to exist and will continue to exist irrespective of whether we have beaten Pakistan in a game or not. After every loss, we curse everybody around us for a few hours, use the choicest words for our cricket team and then go back to sleep awaiting the next match. Yet somehow, every loss to our neighbors is treated as a dent in our pride. "woh साले क्रिच्केतेर्स हमारी नाक कटवा के आ रहे हैं...सबको चुल्लू भर पानी में डूब जाना चाहिए", we scream after a loss.

But honestly-do we really hate our neighbors so much? Or is it just another rivalry which has been created in our minds thanks to a partition that took place more than 60 years ago. Were the wounds of that event so deep that six decades on and we still haven't been able to get past it? And will we carry this hatred in our hearts for a nation that actually fought its war of independence with us as one single country?

What I fear most is that this hatred that we carry in our hearts for a nation that embodies a culture just like ours and with whom we have more things in common than with any other country in the world, this hatred for that nation is something that we will pass on to our future generations. For isn't that's how we inherited this hatred in the first place? Listening to our elders recount the partition story, reading about that 1971 war and how all India tried to do was help another nation gain its independence(the nation in question being Bangladesh) and then the final piece of the jigsaw was completed with the Kargil war. That war ensured that we shall forever view Pakistan as the enemy, as a nation that if allowed to exist will become the reason for our destruction and that must be squashed like a bug if we were to sleep peacefully ever again.

Yet, living almost my entire childhood outside India has somehow helped me get past that hatred. How much ever we may have enjoyed beating those Pakistanis in a game of cricket, the truth is more often than not we were on really friendly terms. That's how we actually played matches against each other in the first place. Yes, there was a competitive streak always going on simple because we belonged to two nations who were more often that not at logger heads with each other, but in the end-whatever the result maybe, win or lose, we would always shake their hands and congratulate them on a good game before we fixed the time and venue for our next match.

Interacting with them, it made me realise a very simple thing: Friendships go beyond boundaries. All it takes is understanding. I don't talk to half of the people in my class and it's not because I hate them but simply because we don't have a common understanding about things and are not that comfortable talking. For in friendships, that's all that matters. All you need is a common understanding of things and a common language you can speak in. For after that, everything else, ceases to matter. Cast, creed, religion, sex, nationalities-none of that matters.

And honestly-it's high time we went beyond the 'he is a pakistani so if you interact with him then you are fraternising with the enemy' mould. A man creates his own enemies and his own friends. How much ever we may want to blame the circumstances, the truth is we are the one's who choose our friends. And similarly we are the one's who choose our enemies. If anything my interaction with the Pakistanis has taught me, then it is how similar we actually are. We speak the same language, have nearly the same dressing sense, follow about the same values and have inherited the same culture, yet we are always at each other throats, trying to bring each other down. We take pleasure in their pain and feel a sense of happiness when we see their nation suffering.

All this has to stop at some point. The seed of hatred shouldn't be sown any further than it already has. For if we impart this hatred in the future generation then I am afraid this hatred will engulf us all. It will take us into a darkness from which we might never be able to see light again. More than Pakistan, our hatred for them and ultimately we ourselves would be the reason for our destruction. I really hope I don't get too see that day.

As a parting shot letme recount a past experience of mine. When I was in 11th grade, in my school bus there used to be these two guys whom I didn't necessarily get along with that well. Not that we used to fight or anything, but we just didn't particularly like each other. Then one fine day, these two guys started calling me a 'Pakistani.' No prizes for guessing why. Since I am a Muslim, somehow some people(actually morons and racists) think they have the liberty to brand me as a Pakistani. This went on for a few days until my 'famous' temper finally blew up and I gave them a verbal lashing with all sorts of slangs involved to remember for the rest of their lives. The reason that I lost my temper that day was because I though by calling me a Pakistani they were racially abusing me. If that same incident were to take place now, I would have given them the same verbal lashing with a few more modified slangs that I have managed to learn since then. But not just because they were racially abusing me. But because they were treating a word that describes the people of a nation as an abusive word.

STOP THE HATRED OR WE SHALL CEASE TO EXIST!!!

Bollywood Calling!!

I have never really understood Bollywood. I doubt anyone has, even those who are actually involved in it on an everyday basis but still it rankles me that a world I so closely follow and a world that I feel so passionate about is a world which is as unpredictable as the Indian Cricket Team's performance. They can give us the crappiest of movies and we all lap it up and make it a blockbuster and they could give us a movie to be cherished for years, yet we would reject it like we had never heard of it.

Which brings us to the question-Is publicity all that matters in Bollywood? Certainly it does matter a great deal but you can't say its a sureshot method to give a hit. For then would you please explain to me the failure of Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Huge starcast, best production house in India, Amitabh Bachchan doing a desi Johnny Depp, superhit music, great dance numbers, hoardings all over the town and yet it turned out to be a complete turkey at the box office. As a newspaper advised JBJ's producer, Adityya Chopra, 'Mr Chopra...repeat...Script is King.' But is it? Or is Shahrukh Khan the king? For if script was king, then be sure of one thing-Om Shanti Om wouldn't be the biggest hit of the decade. Yes, a movie that lacked complete sense and kept making one gag after another, each one getting harder to bear as time went by and yet somehow, that movie has gone on to be labelled the biggest hit of the decade. Sheesh-whatever happened to path breaking cinema. The only reason why that movie actually ever worked was because of the brand we call Shahrukh Khan. Replace Sharukh Khan with Sanjay Suri, a hugely talented but equally hugely overlooked actor and the sceario changes completely. Wonder how many would have gone to see Sanjay Suri do a Dard-e-Disco even with the hottest woman in India currently-Deepkia Padukone(I would have but only bcoz of miss Padukone). Most likely, we wouldn't even have heard of the movie.

So maybe SRK is king? Nope, nope. That theory isn't completely true either. Remember Swades? Lauded as SRK's best work till date? It had everything-didn't it? A great script, a fantastic director, wonderful A R Rahman melodies, heartfelt romantic moments(customary of every SRK movie till Chak De India), strong patriotic sentiments, a classic return of the 'prodigal son' story and yes-it even had the final piece of the jigsaw required for a blockbuster-King Khan. And yet the movie bombed. It went on to become a DVD classic and people still cannot understand how this atrocity of rejecting a fantastic movie was committed, yet the truth is the film was a major dud at the box office.

So what really makes the box-office tick? Honestly-that's an answer that not even the most knowledgeable of men can anwer. There's no sure-shot formula to winning gold at the box-office. Yet when a perfectly good movie gets rejected and a perfectly horrendous movie flops, it stings a little bit. While Om Shanti Om wasn't exactly a bad movie, in all honesty-it was a decent entertainer but the fact is that movie wasn't half as good as the other SRK movie of the year, Chak De India and yet it has done almost twice the business. When a movie like Rang De Basanti, Taare Zameen Par, Black or Chak De India does well or when a well publicised but horrendous movies like Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and Mela are downright rejected, we applaud the sensibility of the audience. Yet, at the same time, when movies like Om Shanti Om and Krish which are nothing but an exercise at letting India know who its superstars are, begin to break box office records, then you have to say not all is right with Indian cinema. Movies are meant to be entertaining-sure. But since when does an assault at our senses start getting branded as entertainment. And that's exactly what movies like Om Shanti Om, Krish and Gadar represent.

What's even more revolting is when perfectly good movies are confounded to also ran's status at the box office. Reasons might vary from no star power to not entertaining enough to 'audience is not in the mood for these kind of movies' but the truth is a good movie is a good movie is a good movie. They are watchable at any time of the year and there's no particular time to catch a good movie. Because then Jab We Met should have released only on Valentine's day and Mangal Pandey should have been a huge hit because it released on Independence day. The truth is Rang De Basanti could have released at Valentine's day for all I care, but it would still be as good a movie as it was when it was released on Jan 25th. Mood should certainly not be the reason for branding a movie good or bad.

Which is why I don't understand why Halla Bol didn't work either. It was a perfectly good movie backed up by power-house performances by Ajay Devgan(a star in his own right) and Pankaj Kapur(just magnificient) and yet they said that audience is not in the mood for hard hitting cinema. Screw hard hitting cinema. All we should care about is good cinema.

There were 3 really good movies last year which failed to find an audience. Johnny Gaddar, Mumbai Salsa and Strangers were what you would brand good cinema. None of them were regular run of the mill stuff, yet each was equally entertaining and had all the ingredients required for commercial cinema. What they lacked was a recongisable face. And so 3 movies which showed that Bollywood was moving in the right direction turned into examples of 3 movies which showed that the Indian audeince is still not ready to accept a different branch of entertaining cinema. Johnny Gaddar in particular was as wild a ride as you could get in a cinema thatre. Despite its failure at the box office, I have no doubts in my mind that this movie would go on to become a retro-classic. Because its that damn good.

Mumbai Salsa, the story of the rich but still only in their mid-20's people living the cool urban lifestyle in Mumbai was a touching tale of trials and tribulations in relationships and one which made you think that life is not as simple as it looks for the people who make it young. Yet thanks to a completely new cast, this movie too failed to reach its audience. Again a movie that is highly recommended if you are looking for soething different yet entertaining this weekend.

Strangers on the other hand was a genre even harder to understand. While both Johnny Gaddar and Mumbai Salsa were well-paced movies(Johnny Gaddar was so fast it didn't give you time to think), Stranger on the other hand takes its time building the story but keeps you rivetted till the end before giving you a final jolt. This was one was a classic thriller in the Alfred Hitchcock mould, one which when viewed with patience increases its repeat value.

Johnny Gaddar, Strangers and Mumbai Salsa-all three movies have quite a lot in common. Devoid of star cast,a new brand of entertaining cinema, perfectly good movies, handled by inexperienced directors with aplomb(Mumbai Salsa and Strangers had debutante directors) and yet reunited in their common failure to reach an audience. Really a pity. For if these movies had worked, then I would have been sure that our audience has indeed grown up and Bollywood was moving in the right direction. Yet, thanks tho the failures of these movies, doubts persist.

Atleast you go catch these movies. Believe me, if you really know what good cinema is, then these movies are definitely worth a view.