THE WAR WITHIN...

The sea is a calm surface of blue. The waves hit the shore, unhurried and slow, almost as if kissing the sand and then receding back to its home to disappear into the vast debris that the sea is. The sky is dark yet clear of clouds, reminiscent of a war that had taken place not long ago but now presenting the calmness that entails peace. The clouds have receded to fight another war at another place, leaving the city gloomy but optimistic, battered but calm. For now at least, the Rain God has agreed to a ceasefire.

The boy stands near the shore, observing the sea gulls fight for their share of the fish.He looks out to the hill standing in the middle of the sea, unshaken and unperturbed by the waves that crash against it, however angry those waves may seem. He stands there, his hands transfixed on his hips, his eyes gazing at the sights in front of him, like a soldier observing the enemy fortress before breaching it. His calm demeanor doesn't reflect the war going on within him...a war to break free, to claim independence, to win back his own life. The waves come and kiss his feet bowing as if bowing down to a soldier far more braver than them. The waves are constantly at war with the shore, trying to claim another piece of land for their own, but even the waves realize today that the boy's war is greater than their own.
For there can never be another bigger war than the one which a person has with his own self.

The boy now walks along the shore, the waves still by his side, observing the imprints of his feet on the sand as he goes past them. He is leaving a life behind. Suddenly a sea gull comes in and pecks at his feet and before he can react the sea gull has flown off with a new fish in between its teeth. The boy continues to walk, unperturbed by the things outside him but disturbed by the thoughts within. The sea is calm and serene but he is at war. And yet, he realizes, there couldn't be a better battlefield for a man at war with himself. The dark sky, the calm sea, the wet sand-the clouds that had taken the city and the sea hostage for several hours but had now receded so that more personal battles could be fought.

The boy moves on, his hands now deep in his pockets, his hair now ruffled by the breeze blowing in from the opposite end. His gaze though remains fixated ahead, unwavering, uncompromising. Today, his eyes will not blink. Today, his feet will not retreat. Today, his belief will not waver. Another wave comes in and touch his feet and for the first time he notices how cold the water is. But it does not bother him. Like a fact he had not noticed before but now that he has, one that does not affect him. He moves on, cold waves or not. He observes a young couple a little distance away from him, sitting next to each other, their right feet co-jointed with each other, their hands folded on their knees, their gaze moving from each other to the sea-talking, sharing and sometimes stealing a kiss. He walks on, the romance in the midst of the war not affecting him, for he has left love far behind now. Today, he does not long for a companion. Today, he does not not wish that he had someone he could kiss, someone he could make love to, someone with whom he could share his life. Today, he will not feel alone.

A sign post comes in front of him. He looks up to notice that the sign says 'STOP.' He walks on, ignoring the sign post, like it never stood there. Today, he will not be stopped. He turns again now, looking out the vast sea in front of him. Its empty, devoid of the people who are usually found jumping and frolicking in it, for the rain has scared them away. The rain though has not scared him. He is here, alone, devoid of any apprehensions, bereft of any fears, for today he will claim his freedom. The war goes on but he knows the end is near. He can feel it. With every step he takes, with every imprint of his feet in the sand, he feels his emancipation coming closer. The phrase 'It smells like victory' had never been more literally true.

He now closes his eyes and takes a step back. He thinks of his parents, those that had loved him and yet had never understood him. He now opens his eyes and looks out to the sea. His parents don't control him anymore. He now closes his eyes again and takes a few more feet back. He thinks of the job that he hated, the boss he despised and the coffee that made him want to vomit after taking a sip. He opens his eyes again. The hill stands in front of him. defiant to its core. He feels tall. Taller than he ever has in his life, stronger than he had ever thought he could be, more defiant than the hill in front of him. He could move a mountain today if he wanted to. The eyes close again and the feet recede further away from the shore. He thinks of the life that he will forever be leaving behind, of the comforts that he will not be able to rely on anymore, of the people he will not have to suffer anymore. He opens his eyes again to the sigh of a horde of sea gulls sweeping into the sea and taking flight again into the vast emptiness of the sky.For the first time today, a smile spreads across his lips. He feels like he can fly. His heart is now set free from everything that had ever stopped him from living the life that he wanted. His heart is free from the bondage of the family that refused to understand him, from the shackles of the society that confined him, from the slavery of the people who could not stand by him. He now knows that there is no greater love than the love for one own self. That you are born to live your own life and not fulfill obligations. That divinity exists not just in helping others but also in helping yourself.

He opens his arms in the air. He moves, he moves like he is serenading the sky. Like he is romancing the sea. Like he is making love to the clouds and the waves. And they are all aware-aware of his love for them, and engulf him in their arms, for he is theirs now, theirs to behold, to love, to scold. For he is free. Just like them. Free spirits that bide by no rules and understand no limits. For theirs is the fiefdom of the entire world. And wherever they go, the people shall respect them, be afraid of them and pay homage to them for they know no limits. For their spirit cannot be broken. And mere mortals can only watch them in awe. And he is no mere mortal today. He is a free spirit. Unbounded by the laws of the universe. And then he begins to run. He runs towards the unwavering sea, dancing with the sky, his feet unchained at last. He rips his clothes off one by one, unperturbed by his own naked self or by any of those watching him, for he will not be stopped today. As he picks up speed, he feels the win engulf his naked body, embracing his free self. And then he jumps into the water, naked in body and spirit, his soul born again, emancipated forever. The war has been won. The clouds can come back again. There are no more shackles. There are no more chains. Its just him.

Naked. Alone. Free.