Pre-Marital Sex!!

Being a male college student, sex is a topic that often comes up for discussion when we friends get together. And pre-marital sex is one of the raging debates among today's youth in India. Unlike the western world, we haven't embraced this phenomenon completely, yet there's no doubt that it exists and exists very strongly especially in the upper echeleons of our society. And whenever I have been part of such a discussion, me views on it have been very clear.

We all know that God doesn't like the idea of a man and a woman making love before they have been tied in holy matrimony. No religion, atleast to my knowledge-whether it be Christianity, Islam, Hinduism or Buddhism promotes pre marital sex. And yet it exists. So without a doubt the moral lines in our society have been crossed long ago. And that's why pre-marital sex is no more about how strongly you believe in God but rather do you see it as right or wrong from a personal point of view. Pre-marital sex no more begs the question of hell or heaven but whether you believe that marriage is a strong enough bond worth waiting for before you get intimate with the person you love.

I for one have always maintained my stand on it. I do not beleive in pre-marital sex. I beleive that if you really are in love with a person, then you can wait till you marry that person. For marriage to me is not just a piece of paper with the Government of India stamp on it. It means much more than that. When you say 'I do' or 'kabool hai' or tie a 'mangalsutr' around a woman's neck, it means that the two of you belong together, that you are a whole together and incomplete without the other and that you love and trust that person enough to spend the rest of your life with her/him. It's the only relationship in the world where the person you are about to enter into a relation with is someone whom you didn't know before and yet now you trust that person enough to spend the rest of your life with and make him/her the most important person in your life. And if anyone believes in this bond so strongly then there's no reason why sex should be such an important part of the relationship before marriage. Love is much more than sex. I think we all understand that.

Yet somehow the responses I have got from some of my friends for this statement has varied from 'your poor girlfriend' to 'dude-its just sex' and 'sex is not such a big deal.' But then it is. Sex is a huge deal whether you agree or not. It's not just about physical satisfaction or an orgasm. Sex without love just makes us animals! And love without marriage? Yup, animals again!!

But then again-as I have said in this post before, we have crossed the moral lines long ago. So I have never been against people who believe there's nothing wrong with pre-marital sex. One of my best friends often says that if you are in love, then sex is the automatic next step. He says that having sex cements the relationship, that you are committing everything to that person and to that relationship. That when a person gives himself up physically, whether it be man or woman, then there's no bigger sign of love.

And he was right. When a man or woman do decide to get into the sexual side of a relationship, then perhaps, there could be no bigger sign of love and trust. Especially when a womand decides to sleep with a man, it means she trusts him completely for sex is still something that most women hold sacred.
When this argument came up, I must say I was a bit flummoxed. There was no way I could disagree with him. Everything he said was exactly what I believed in and yet he was actually counter-arguing my case. If anything it made for a great debate and made me realise that it really is your personal view that can give a completely different spin on this topic. Pre-marital sex can be justified and at the same time proven wrong using the same arguments.

You can believe in the concept of pre marital sex or you can believe it is a cardinal sin created by today's immoral society but what you can't deny is that you can no longer judge a person based on his beliefs in this phenomenon. A person can whole heartedly choose what he wants to do without thinking whether his deceision makes him out to be a bad or an immoral person. Because it doesn't. Pre marital sex has become such a common phenomenon today that you can't blame the youth for believing there's nothing wrong with it. Whether a man chooses to sleep with a woman before marriage, its entirely his deceision and in no way makes him a 'loose character' that our society brands such people to be.Pre-marital sex no longer is a yardstick that you can use to judge people's character on. And if you do, then you are a hypocrite.

I ofcorse still believe that pre-marital sex is wrong. But then it's my deceision entirely and everyone is entitled to have their own opinions. And sex is a big deal!!